Big Cottonwood Marathon and Qualifying for Boston

I visited Salt Lake City in August, 2013. While there, I did an Internet search for some local hikes to take my family, many of which began in Big Cottonwood Canyon, which led me to Google "Big Cottonwood Canyon." Not only did I learn of several awesome hikes, I learned of a marathon that starts at Brighton Ski Resort up Big Cottonwood Canyon taking place in September.

It was at that moment I formulated a plan to qualify for the Boston Marathon. It involved running the 2014 Big Cottonwood Marathon.

So what made me think that a 4:00:55 marathoner, who missed qualifying by over 45 minutes think he could qualify for Boston? (1) I turned 45 this July, making my time 3:25 instead of 3:15; (2) Check out the course profile!

But isn't that cheating?

No. If the Boston Athletic Association says it's a qualifying marathon then that's good enough for me.

But isn't that kind of taking the coward's way out?

No. If the Boston Athletic Association says it's a qualifying marathon then that's good enough for me.

But doesn't it seem unfair?

No. If the Boston Athletic Association says it's a qualifying marathon then that's good enough for me.

Since we're on the subject of fairness, let's talk about genetics. Is it fair that the ideal runner's body, according to author of Racing Weight, Matt Fitzgerald, is the exact opposite of my body type? Yes, apparently, because the God deemed it so.

If God says it's fair that I got the genetics of an out-of-shape shot-putter then that's good enough for me. In order to level the playing field, for us squatty-type runners, he made mountains and canyons we could run down.

Here's a family picture from 2005. We're not exactly a genetically thin family.

I'm the one holding my daughter. My father and two brothers are next to me.

But, come on, it's not a real marathon. You could roll down that thing.

If the Boston Athletic Association says it's a qualifying marathon then that's good enough for me. Besides, have you ever run 15 miles down a steep canyon? I have. It's not as easy as it looks.

So you're seriously gonna count that as your BQ if you somehow finish in under 3:25?

Look, I have five kids. FIVE!!!!! Cut me some slack. And besides, If the Boston Athletic Association says it's a qualifying marathon then that's good enough for me.