How to get used to running in the heat...

As the pleasant smell of mouldering baby poop ignites my senses, it can only mean summer has arrived and I need to take out the garbage. For runners, it means yet one more reason to wear booty shorts.

You've been waiting all winter to sport those bad boys!

My method for acclimating to the heat makes it less likely you'll end up convulsing on the black top due to heat stroke. By the way, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a running coach. Heck, I'm not even fast. But I do live in the desert, Las Vegas to be precise, and it gets freaking hot here in the summer.

The Uncle Trentie Method for Summer Running Acclimation

First off I will not include information such as drink lots of fluids. Any dingleberry knows that.

Step 1: Don't be an idiot. Unless you're training for BadWater, there's limits. Be aware of them.

Step 2: Wear a heart rate monitor. Your body has to work harder when it's hot. Sometimes you don't realize just how hard it's working until your tongue swells and you're sprinting from imaginary snakes. A heart rate monitor gives you instant feedback.

Step 3: Run with your heart rate in the aerobic zone (70-80% of your max heart rate). If you're not sure what that heart rate is, simply subtract your age from 180. You should not exceed this heart rate during your acclimation runs. There are other variables you can discover with a simple "heart rate monitor training" Google search. I, for example, can run 5-10 beats higher than that number because I took the time to figure out what my max heart rate really was, but that's for the experts to explain to you. I strongly urge you to study the teaching of Phil Maffetone.

Step 4: Run with your heart rate in the aerobic zone. I included this twice because you will think it's too slow and start running faster. Notice this post is titled how to get used to running in the heat. That's all you're doing. You're not racing. You're not doing intervals. Most importantly, you're not dying. When your heart rate gets above your aerobic threshold, slow down. If the rate doesn't decrease, walk. It's ok. It's 100 freaking degrees. It's ok to walk 20 yards to avoid ending up face down in a piss puddle on Fremont Street.

If you're running in the Vegas desert and see this, you're probably hallucinating.

Step 5: When you have to stop, and you will have to stop, eat an orange slice. If you've ever had an orange slice during a race, you probably found it to be the most disgusting fruit ever created. That's because those oranges have been sitting out in the sun for three hours. Put a few oranges in the refrigerator. Cut them in to fours. Put then in a plastic bag. Put them in your pockets. When you stop to walk or slow down, eat one. They're freaking good. Trust me.

Step 6: Remain near a water source. I happen to have a swimming pool. I understand that in some parts of the country a swimming pool is a luxury. In Las Vegas, everyone has one. When the temperature gets above 95, pretty much every day between June and the end of September, I'll run a loop that passes my house and dunk my head in the swimming pool every 2-3 miles. Sprinklers work to. So does a hose. A bottle of water as a last resort is sufficient.

Nothing impresses the ladies more than a sweaty man wearing nothing but a heart rate monitor dunking his head in a swimming pool.

 Step 7: Run near a park. Parks have drinking fountains.

Of course if you had any sense, you'd run at night or early morning.

In case you were wondering who Phil Maffetone was, it's this guy.

Places to Run in Las Vegas

I've lived in the Las Vegas area for nearly 25 years.  Why people come here on vacation is beyond me. But they do.  Some who visit enjoy running.  Here are some good running spots.

Your Hotel Treadmill

Running outside June-September is not recommended unless you go early in the morning (before 7:00) or after the sun sets.  It's too darn hot.  Make use of your hotel treadmill.  Find one overlooking the pool if you want some refreshing scenery.

Red Rock Canyon - $7.00 per vehicle

Red Rock Canyon

Red Rock--as the locals call it--involves a 17-mile drive west on Charleston, if coming from the strip.  The 13-mile one-way loop is the only way to get to the canyon's hikes and vistas.  It also makes for a great impromptu half-marathon.  I'll warn you before you choose the impromptu half-marathon option: The first five miles involve a serious incline.  The remaining eight miles involve hills, most of them going down.  Red Rock hosts a half marathon and marathon in March as well as a five-mile ascent run in January.  If you prefer trail-running, there's plenty of trails.  Just don't get lost and require getting airlifted out.  Not only will you feel stupid, but you'll unnecessarily burden Southern Nevada taxpayers, including me.

Valley of Fire - $10.00 per vehicle

Valley of Fire

Take I-15 north for about 45 minutes and enjoy one of Southern Nevada's hidden treasures.  Valley of Fire features the same type of red rocks as Red Rock Canyon but has better hikes and a longer road on which to run.  The Valley of Fire is way too hot in the summer and is best enjoyed in spring or fall.  Winter's not bad either.  If you're feeling up to it after a night at the tables, the Valley of Fire Marathon is held annually in mid-November.

River Mountain Loop

The River Mountain Loop is accessible from numerous locations in Henderson, Boulder City, and The Lake Mead National Recreation Area (which charges a $10.00 fee per vehicle).  The loop is a paved 35-mile path that goes through Henderson, Boulder City and Lake Mead.  The easiest way to get there from the strip is to take I-15 south to I-215 east until it turns into Lake Mead Parkway.  Go about six miles and right before you enter the recreation area, there's a parking lot on the right.  If you're a triathlete and wish to get in some training, enter the Lake Mead National Recreation Area and head to Boulder Beach.  Boulder Beach is home to several triathlons, including the Pumpkinman in late October-early November and Showdown at Sunset in April. By the way, Boulder Beach is not a good swim beach.  It's main purpose is for triathletes and people too cheap to rent jet skis.

Mt. Charleston

Mt. Charleston in Winter

This is about the only place you can run in the summer with a reasonable expectation of not getting heat stroke.  The main problem is if you start at the top of Mt. Charleston, the descent goes quick and it will be hot soon.  There are, however, plenty of high elevation trails for hiking and running.  Try the Lee Canyon side if you desire an elevation over 7650 feet.

Sunset Park

If all you're looking for is a regular old run, then head south on the Strip, turn east on Sunset Road and drive about five miles.  The park is huge and you have several options: (1) Just park anywhere and run your little heart out; (2) Find a trail at Sunset Regional Park, just after McCleod on the right; (3) Run the 1-mile or 1.5-mile loop.  The entrance for this loop (my preferred running spot) is just North of Warm Springs on Eastern.  As you're coming down Sunset, turn right on Eastern and go about 3/4-mile.  Turn left.  The loop is on the right and is impossible to miss if you're in the correct parking lot.  If you reach the train tracks you've gone too far. The small loop is a mile. The extended loop is 1.5 miles. This loop hosts occasional Saturday morning fun runs and, if you're lucky, you'll see me slogging around the track.  By the way, beware of coyotes at night.

The Strip

It sounds glamorous, but running on the Strip is annoying.  The Las Vegas Rock-n-Roll Marathon and Half Marathon is held here in December.  It's an annoying race.  You'd have more fun at the Red Rock or Valley of Fire Marathon.