Guaranteed Way to Set a Marathon World Record

I read somewhere that for every pound a runner loses, he can drop five seconds off his per mile pace.  That got me thinking...

My last 5-k was run in 24:37.  I did an Internet search and found this calculator that uses a ridiculously complicated formula created by someone who didn't go to UNLV and I discovered I could probably run a marathon in 3:54, which is about a 9-minute pace, which means if I lost 120 lbs, I would finish the marathon about a half-hour before it started.

Bulimia never sounded this good!

Me in about seven months