Running and Weight Loss: Illegal Drugs or Exercise?

I felt I had covered all the angles on how to lose weight.  Then my Aunt reminded me of the benefits of illegal amphetamines in the quest for weight loss.  Let's take a look at the pros and cons.

Pros: There's no need for sleep, which leaves ample time for exercise.  The metabolic boost will burn extra calories.

Cons: They're illegal.  They're addictive.  They'll eventually ruin your life.  They'll cause your teeth to fall out.  They may cause heart attacks.  They'll destroy your marriage, get you fired from your job, and turn you subhuman.

Decision: Stick with exercise, such as running, for weight loss.