I have entered races in the past. See if you notice a pattern (I’m going from memory).
- 4th of July 5-k blast in Las Vegas: More people finished ahead of me than behind me, including a blind guy, a six-year old and a pelican.
- 10-mile Koloa Sugar Mill Run in Kauai, Hawaii: A great way to ruin your dream vacation. I'm not sure anyone finished behind me. The halfway point was the low point of my life.
- Rock to Pier Run 2009 (6.1 miles) in Morro Bay, California: More people finished ahead of me than behind me, including a school of dolphins who leaped out of the water and onto the beach in order to mock me.
Make sure the chain's on your bike before you start the raceLake Las Vegas Sprint Triathlon 2008: A lot more people finished ahead of me than behind me, including the 74 people who swim slower than me and a few carp who, although slow runners, are fast bikers.
- New Year’s Day five-mile run in Las Vegas, 2007: I got passed by several men in their 70s. With about a half-mile left, another 70-year-old tried to pass me, but I outkicked him at the finish…and pulled a calf muscle.
- Rock to Pier Family Reunion Run in Morro Bay: My brother-in-law Parry destroyed me…so did several other brothers-in-law, a couple nephews, my wife, and an amputee octogenarian.
I passed out right before this picture was taken after getting harpooned.
I already know I can finish things, but I’m done with being a back-of-the-packer.
There is an exception to my back-of-the pack racing career. I did win the 2008 Grand Phelasco Sprint Triathlon in Boulder City, Nevada. There were three participants: me, my wife and my wife’s friend Laura. Although my wife can bike and run faster than me, I swim much faster. A simple manipulation of the course—instead of a 500 meter swim, it was 1000 meters—and I had a large enough lead coming out of the water to hold her off. I was runner up the next two years.
Although my endurance increased during the 15 years of running, I kept getting slower and slower and slower.
|10-mile Koloa Sugar Mill Run in Kauai--I'm totally destroying that lady behind me!|