Some Book Reviews

I read a lot. Here are some books on running I've read over the past few months with recommendations.

The Big Book of Endurance Training by Phil Maffetone

Ratings: 10/10 for useful information; 2/10 for entertainment.

Review: This book changed my life. If you've struggled with injuries or bonked at your most recent marathon or have hit a plateau in your training, read the book. You'll want a heart rate monitor after reading it, so get one now. My race times have dropped dramatically since reading it and doing what it says.

Finding Ultra: Rejecting Middle Age, Becoming One of the World's Fittest Men, and Discovering Myself by Rich Roll

Ratings: 6/10 for useful information; 8/10 for entertainment

Review: Dude was a college swimmer turned alcoholic. He then became a recovering alcoholic turned fatass. Dude then completed an Ironman triathlon on five of the Hawaiian Islands in like seven days or something ridiculous like that. I could have done without the me and my wife are so enlightened because of our East Asian philosophy and Vegan diet preaching, but it was a pretty good story. The part about overcoming his addictions was actually more interesting than the triathlon parts. This book introduced me to the concept of heart rate monitor training.

In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan

Ratings: 10/10 for information; 5/10 for entertainment.

Review: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. This is a common sense guide to eating healthy. I don't have a lot of common sense much of the time. Anyone who considers him or herself an endurance athlete would benefit from reading it.

Iron War by Mark Fitzgerald

Ratings: Information 8/10; Entertainment 8/10

Review: Fitzgerald recounts the epic Ironman battle of 1989 between Dave Scott and Mark Allen. The first 75% of the book is of pantheon quality. The last 25%, including the part about Mark Allen becoming a shaman surfer, is a little lame. This highly entertaining book has confirmed my suspicion that many world class athletes--especially endurance athletes--aren't necessarily to be admired outside of their fitness accomplishments. Both men had failed marriages, at least partly attributable to their endurance addiction. Karnazes is the only psycho endurance runner with a happy marriage that comes to mind. Dean, I'm counting on you. Keep setting the example!

Running with the Kenyans by Adharanand Finn.

Ratings: Information 5/10; Entertainment 6/10

Review. This just in: Kenyans are fast. Finn is another left-winger who feels the need to apologize for prosperity. Kenyans, according to Finn, are fast because they run a lot as kids. They have too. Westerners are fat and spoiled by modern life.

As far as I'm concerned, the East Africans can have their gold medals. I'll take air conditioning.

Oh by the way: Mo Farah and Galen Rupp.

The Most Depressing Day of the Year

I heard on the radio today (so it must be true) that today is the most depressing day of the year. Let us analyze.

1. Resolutions. Apparently people are depressed on January 21 because they've already broken their New Year's Resolution. Really? If something was a good idea on January 1, wouldn't it still be a good idea on January 21? It's time to make third week in January resolutions!
2. The weather's still bad. Not here. It's 60 and sunny right now. Not very depressing.
3. The inauguration. Sure, the thought of listening to our commander-in-chief make excuses and blame someone else for his mistakes for the next four years is a little depressing, but if national leaders who don't live up to the hype are a reason to get depressed, then I'd have slit my wrists every four years for the past 24 years.
4. It's Monday. I like Mondays, especially when I don't have to work. In addition, we get to celebrate the life of a great individual who reminded us that governments must protect our god-given rights, not take them away.
5. Football. If you live in New England or Atlanta, you have every right to be depressed. I don't live in either place.
6. Internet girlfriends. I suppose if you discovered your girlfriend who died but didn't die never existed and it was blasted all over every media outlet for a week straight and people are making fun of you incessantly, you'd have a good reason to be depressed. That didn't happen to me. My wife is real. And she doesn't have leukemia. And she didn't get in a car accident. And I don't have an Internet or non-Internet girlfriend.

After this thorough scientific analysis, there's really no reason to be depressed today unless you're a fan of the Patriots or Falcons, or you're Mitt Romney, or you just got exposed on national media for falling in love with a non-existent woman.

Running from Mediocrity in 2013

I know you don't care about my running goals and since nobody actually reads my blog, there's really nothing short of me posting naked pictures of farm animals that would attract enough readers to make me actually write a clever goals post for 2013, so you're stuck with this.

I just wanted to get them written down. I'll start with a quick 2012 recap, which I know you're dying to know about.

Finished 2012 with 1055 miles--an all time best. Set a 5-k, 5-mile, 10-k, 10-mile, half marathon and marathon pr.

2013 running goals

• Set a 5-k pr (23:06)
• Set a 10-k pr (48:02)
• Set a 10-mile pr (83:20)
• Set a half marathon pr (1:49:17)
• Run a sub four-hour marathon (that would be a pr)
• Run my first obstacle course race (signed up for Super Spartan run on April 6)
• Run the River Mountain Loop

Feel free to hold me accountable. I have other goals for the New Year that are far more important than running goals, but they're for another forum.

Breaking News: Santa Banned from South Pole Marathon

Santa Claus has been banned from the South Pole Marathon after testing positive for a banned substance.  race director and real estate mogul Penguin Cornelius, brother to Santa's close friend Yukon Cornelius, claims Santa tested positive for banned amphetamines and sites Santa's drastic weight loss as additional evidence.

Before Positive Drug Test

After Positive Drug Test

Santa's lawyer, Jack Frost, denies the charges, claiming Penguin Cornelius is still upset about Santa's choice to choose the North Pole over the South Pole as his base of operation, a choice that cost Penguin billions of dollars in lost property value.  When asked about the drug test, Frost claims an over-the-counter stimulant caused the positive drug test.  "Santa's under a lot of stress," says Frost.  "He's downing a case of Red Bull nightly in order to see you when you're sleeping and know when you're awake.  Last time I checked, Red Bull was not on the International Track and Field's banned substance list!"

Penguin Cornelius concedes that Red Bull is not on the banned list, but speed, cocaine, ephedrine, and crystal meth, all which showed up in large amounts in Santa's blood, are.  Cornelius adds, "There have also been damning photos of Santa commiserating with the Devil.  This is not the kind of publicity the South Pole Marathon needs."

Santa's relationship with this man has rumors of devil worship swirling throughout the running community.

Santa's team of lawyers plan to appeal the decision as soon as all gifts have been distributed on Christmas Eve, none of which, incidentally, will be finding their way into Penguin Cornelius's stocking.

Holiday Inspiration and Motivation

These elves keep me going during the holidays!

These elves ain't messin' around.

12 Days of Fitmas Update

The 12 Days of Fitmas have been quite the success. Here's a recap.

Day 1: One new workout video. I tried the P90X 2 P.A.P. upper body workout. After the first exercise, I thought about calling it quits and making the first day of fitmas one exercise. That would have defeated the purpose of this incredibly clever gimmick, so I stuck it out.

Day 2: I skipped two meals. This didn't really have anything to do with fitness. It was a monthly religious observance. If you'd like to no more about the law of the fast, go to Mormon.org.

Day 3: I denied myself a Snickers bar three times. The original plan was to do 3 sets of achilles heel exercises, which I did. At the end of the day, however, it was the 3 Snickers denials that had the larger fitness benefit. And no, there wasn't a fourth temptation. I fled the Snickers faster than Joseph fled Potiphar's wife.

Day 4: I did the X2 P.A.P. upper workout, which just happens to include 4 sets of 4 different exercises followed by another set of 4 exercises done four times. I highly recommend P90X 2, especially if you enjoy humiliating yourself in the living room as your kids stand in awe of Tony Horton's incredible physique.

Day 5: I ran five miles. It was the first time I'd run in nearly two weeks.

Day 6: I did six pushups every minute for 1/2 hour. Not a bad way to spend my lunch break and it's something you can do in a pair of dress pants and a button up shirt.

Day 7: I did an extra seven seconds on my final plank of the day. It doesn't sound like much but considering the amount of discomfort my abdominals were experiencing, it was a lot.

Day 8: I ran eight miles. Not the most creative use of day 8 but effective.

Day 9: I woke up at 7:09 and ate about 99 pieces of candy and other assorted junk foods. Not exactly what I had in mind for my fitmas gimmick.

Day 10. Blasted out 10 power jumps at the end of a seven-mile run. It would have been a lot easier to just run 7.10 miles instead. I'll remember that tomorrow.

Only 14 days left. Let me know how your 12 Days of Fitmas are going.

The 12 days of Fitmas (x2)

It's the holidays and that means it's time for a gimmick; otherwise, I'll be waddling through the holidays at around 380 lbs. Unfortunately the not-weighing-380-lbs-dying-of-Type 2 Diabetes-at-47-and-contracting-heart-disease gimmick never seems to work (for me or millions of Americans).

So I'm going with the 12 Days of Fitmas (x2) gimmick. It started today and runs to about 4:00 P.M. on Christmas Eve. On day 13 I'll start over at one. The program is simple. For each "day of Christmas" I'll do something fitnessy for that day matching the number.

For example

1. Day 1 - Do one new workout video.
2. Day 2 - Eat two servings of vegetables before lunch.
3. Day 3 - Run three extra miles.
4. Day 4 - Do four extra pushups on each round of exercises.
5. Day 5 - Add five pounds to each exercise.
6. Day 6 - Add six minutes to evening run.

I think you get the point. You don't really have to plan it out in advance. Figure it out as you go along. The key is to have fitness in the front of your mind instead of having it crowded out by egg nog and candy.

Share some of your 12 Days of Fitmas ideas or share what you do to stay in shape over the holidays in the comments section.