I Am the Fastest Man Alive and a Big Fan of Hyperbole!

There's no magic bullet for running faster.  It doesn't happen overnight.  It does happen, but it takes work.  It's the results of an accumulation of doing the little things daily.

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10 kilometers, 6.2 miles, the perfect race distance.  It's long enough to make you work.  It's short enough that there's no risk of bowel-movement-while-running syndrome.  I'm not much of a racer.  The last 5 races I have entered, not including Ragnar, have been between 6 and 6.2 miles.  I finished near the end of most of them.

Up until last summer, the best time I'd raced at the magic distance was around 55 minutes.  Last summer, I raced it in just over 53 minutes.  I then lowered it by a minute-plus, 52:19 at the beginning of the year, over five minutes less than the year before.

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I have a magic mile pace as well.  It's eight minutes/mile.  I'd never actually run that pace for more than a 5-k.  That did not, however, stop me from calculating all my race/fast run goals for that pace for the last 10 years.

This is what makes the Qualify for Boston Goal so ridiculous.  It's four times longer than my favorite distance at 45 seconds/mile faster than my magic-mile pace that I've never achieved...until now.

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I headed for the park after work on Friday and rattled off a 48:02 10-k.  That's a 7:45/mile pace.  I ran on a 1.5-mile track at the Sunset Regional Park in Henderson/Las Vegas.  As I finished the first lap, I peaked at my Garmin.  It read 11:38.  I nearly soiled myself in surprise, which would have negated my previous theory on running 10-ks.  I was under 23:00 after the second lap. The first 5-k was run in 23:38, the fastest 5-k I've ever run by nearly a minute.

At this point, I had a pretty good notion it was going to be a good, fast (in relative terms) run.  I slowed a little, running the second half in 24:24, the second fastest 5-k I've ever run.

I AM THE FASTEST MAN ALIVE!

So the question is, how can someone take nearly six minutes off a 10-k time in a little over six months?

Here's what I did:

1. Improved conditioning.  I did this through cross-training.  I began with P90X.  I then went with Insanity.  I ran five times between July and December.  The fifth time led to a strained soleus.  There was a little Plantar Fasciitis mixed in.  I love cortisone.  I didn't really start running as a primary exercise until January 2.  Happy New Year!
2. Lost weight.  It helps not lugging around an extra 20 pounds.
3. Ran hills.  I really have no choice.  If I'm going to run near my house or near my work, there will be hills.
4. Ran fast.  I've only actually done three speed workouts, mostly mile repeats.  I hate them.
5. Did double workouts.  Getting up at 5:00 a.m. kind of sucks.  Working out again at 2:30 in the afternoon kind of sucks.  Setting a PR doesn't suck.

Going Forward

I enjoyed my accomplishment for a day or two, just like I enjoyed the half-marathon I ran under 1:50 last week, but as I said then, There's work to do.  Running a 10-k at 7:45/mile is no where close to running a marathon at a 7:15/mile pace.

• Speed work.  This is where the money is.  In addition to doing mile repeats, I'm going to add some 800 and 400 intervals.  I need to get more serious about these workouts if I'm going to get faster.
• Long runs early.  Technically my marathon training doesn't begin until the end of February. I've already run 13.1.  I plan on going 16-18 by the end of this month, slow.  I want to get the distance up and maintain it, so I can concentrate on speed.
• Double workouts.  Running at 5:00 A.M. twice per week followed by Insanity workouts in the afternoon have paid dividends.
• Rest on Sundays.  As always, give the Lord His due and He'll give you all the strength you need.

For the first time, I believe I have an unrealistic chance at this (unrealistic is a step up from impossible).

Training Update and Barefoot Running Debut

The calf is feeling much better.  I'm doing no actual training runs for at least another week.  That hasn't, however, stopped me from training.  I've been doing double Insanity workouts--three times this week.  That includes doing one Max Insanity disc, not including the final stretch, immediately followed by a regular Insanity disc, including the warm up but not the warm up stretch.  For those familiar with the discs, the Insanity warm up is about twice as hard as a "normal" workout.

After completing three doubles this week, all I can say is a 10-mile run never sounded so good.

I do P 90 X weight lifting on the in between days, along with a recovery workout, making six good workouts per week with a rest on Sunday.  Yesterday, I jogged a half-mile indoors barefoot.  It was fun.  I've been doing Insanity workouts barefoot, so it wasn't that big of a shock to the feet.  I'm thinking about getting some minimalist shoes so I can run outside.  I don't know if I'll make the full shift to barefoot running, but barefoot Insanity has helped my form, warded off PF (despite what the experts say) and saved me money on socks.

Revolutionary Marathon Strategy and a Double Plyo Debut

I'm not sure why I'm able to do 80 minutes of high intensity plyometrics without any pain in my calf when running four miles makes me feel like someone implanted a tennis ball in my lower leg.

Because of my calf injury, my unconventional training methods are being put to the test immediately.  For those who may not remember my training philosophy and my problem with traditional marathon training methods, I've approached the marathon in a completely different manner.  I'm only running three days per week.  One day is reserved for long runs.  One day is reserved for an easy run.  One day is reserved for an intermediate distance run.

Two days, however, are devoted to high intensity cross training.  Just in case the calf never heals I'm going to cross train my way 26.2 miles.  Here's a list of exercises:

• Mile 1 - Heisman.  This involves bringing the right knee to the chest, hand out like a Heisman Trophy, followed by the left knee.  Repeat until mile is over.
• Mile 2 - Jumping Jacks.  Do not run next to me.  You will get punched and punched hard.
• Mile 3 - Plank Walk.  Get in push up position, perpendicular to the course.  Walk on hands and toes to the side for a mile.
• Mile 4 - Power Jumps.  Jump vertical.  Bring knees above the waste to hit your hands.  Get in my way and I'll bring knees to your face.
• Mile 5 - Reverse Squat Jumps. Start in the squat position, core tight, hands in front.  Do a 180 jump, landing in the squat position.

OK, you get the point.  Maybe I should just hope the calf recovers.

How to Cope with Running Injuries

Most runners have to deal with injuries.  Use these suggestions to make the most of your down time.

1. Complain a lot.  People are dying to hear about your sore groin, aching knee, sore quadriceps and strained soleus.  
2. Feel sorry for yourself.  Make yourself a victim.  Talk about how the world is unfair and how you'd be an Olympian if it weren't for all your bad luck.
3. Sit a lot.  Don't do any exercise.  Cross training is for sissies.  Either you run your hardest at all times or you sit on the couch.
4. Eat.  Since you're not exercising, you might as well eat unhealthy foods, all the time.  Look at recovery time as an opportunity to indulge.  You'll soon start looking forward to running injuries.
5. Try to injure others.  You can't run.  Why should they be able to?
6. Blog.  This will allow you to complain a lot, talk about how the world is unfair, sit down, eat, and give poor advice so others injure themselves.

You'll learn to love getting hurt when you follow these suggestions.

Eating Disorders or Exercise: Which Is The Better Method for Losing Weight?

In part 1 of this two-part series on eating disorders, I showed how eating disorders could lead to faster marathon times.  In part 2, I'll answer the question "What's better for weight loss: eating disorders or exercise?"

There's no easy answer to this question, so let's look at the pros and cons.  We'll treat bulimia and anorexia, the two most popular eating disorders, separately.

Anorexia

Pros: You'll save a ton of money on your grocery bill.  Weight loss usually happens immediately.  You'll spend more time doing things instead of eating.

Cons: You're always hungry and lack energy.  Everyone will think you're a freak. You'll spend a fortune on counseling.  You could die.  You don't really look that good (think trailer park, tank top, Cops episode).

Bulimia

Pros: You can enjoy your favorite foods in massive quantities.  Constant vomiting strengthens core muscles.

Cons: Puke is disgusting.  You'll spend a fortune on food and cleaning supplies. You'll probably die a painful death from stomach acids burning a hole in your esophagus.

Exercise

Pros: It makes you healthy and strong.  You won't die a slow and painful death. You can actually do things.  Chicks dig strong guys. Guys dig strong chicks.

Cons: It takes a lot of time.  You'll sweat a lot.

Insanity was my exercise program of choice for 64 days.

Final Decision

After weighing the evidence, I'm going to side with exercise as the best option for weight loss.  In fact, you'd be better off having a butt so big it requires two extra plane tickets when you travel coach than you would utilizing an eating disorder as a weight loss strategy.

Below are my Insanity after pictures.  There are no before pictures. 

This is as close to anorexia as I'm getting.

Getting Ready for Utah

I have two goals for the Utah Valley Marathon on June 9: (1) Finish the darn thing; (2) Run it in 3:15 or less. I know I can accomplish #1. I have no idea if I can accomplish #2.

I haven’t entered a ton of races. I do not plan on entering any races between now and June 9. I don’t need a bib or a timing chip or a t-shirt that will be converted into an emergency baby clean up rag. And I certainly don’t need to fork over $30. It would be nice to have an aide station every couple miles on the long runs, but a bottle of water and a bush should do the trick. 

I'll use a different bush to urinate.

My goal to run a marathon at a pace I have never even, up to this point, run a 5-k sounds ridiculous. Not as ridiculous as having a phone that takes pictures sounded 20 years ago.

I created my training schedule with the following philosophies

1. Positivity. Change the way I think about myself. If I hold onto the belief that I am slow, then I am slow. If I start thinking of myself as fast, I am fast.  At least that's what my MLM buddies tell me.
2. Running too much is not fun. I want to have fun.  
3. Running three times a week is fun. I want to have fun.
4. Intensity! Intensity! Intensity! I’m using Insanity in place of interval runs, tempo runs and hill repeats.  I'm going back-to-back workouts, followed by puking.  I'm considering doing the Insanity program, but instead of one disc, I'll do the same disc twice each day.  Now that I've written that out, that might be the single stupidest idea I've ever come up with.
5. Rest is necessary. In addition to a couple rest and recovery type workouts each week, there is a rest and recovery week every month. By rest and recovery, I mean reducing physical stress when necessary, not watching The Cosby Show and snacking on peanut butter Captain Crunch.
6. Injuries suck. See above.  The key to not getting injured is not getting injured.
7. Flab is the enemy. I’ve already dropped about 25 pounds.  
8. A schedule keeps one accountable. My workout calendar is completed up until March 6. I’m flexible.  It's ambitious.  So am I.  So was Mussolini, though.
   
   

The Problem with Traditional Training Programs

I am not trashing traditional marathon training programs. They, however, have trashed me. 

I made my own schedule. It follows the same principles as a traditional program, without all the nerdy runner jargon that only people who can run a fast marathon understand anyhow:

If you wish to run YOUR FASTEST MARATHON EVERRRRRRRRRR, you must not only do long runs and easy runs, you must do fartleks and tempo runs and tempo runs at your 5-k pace and tempo runs at your half marathon pace and tempo runs at your 5-k pace, but only on the second cloudy day following a new moon in months ending in ‘Y’ or beginning with an ‘M.” And don’t forget the 3 x 1200s and the 8 x 100s, and the 4 x 400s, and the Yasso 800s and the 1600 walk-on-your hands while blowing your nose in a windstorm half sprint at your 1-mile pace. 

Don’t get me started on hill repeats. Seriously? You want me to sprint up a hill, walk down it, and sprint up it again?

This is the only hill I'm repeating!

I’m not doing that.

I’m doing one long run per week until I do at least one run of 20 miles or more and 1 or 2 easy runs ranging from 3-8 miles. That’s all the running I’m doing. And I’m cross training. Intense cross training. Cross training that will make running seem like a day off. Cross training that will have me near puking…in the warm-ups.

If I ever figure out how to upload documents onto this blog, I’ll upload my training schedule. If you notice my schedule isn’t uploaded and you know how to do it, let me know.